Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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