What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
