Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Alive.
So much puke
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
