I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
