Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
