I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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