Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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