like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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