is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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