Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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