Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
