I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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