who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
