The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
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I just found a bag of teeth...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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