So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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