We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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