I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
