I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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