i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
