I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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