Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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