I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
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im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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