I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this beer tastes like vomit already
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
