Banned from zoo.
Again?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
