Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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