Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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