Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
