i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize