im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
