***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
My first STD was from a foam party
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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