Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
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And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
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I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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