i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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