I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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