Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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