the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
