Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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