I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
