Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
