My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
