okay pat passed out under dana's car
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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