writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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