yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
