Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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