he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
