I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You are the jesus of drinking
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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