the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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