one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
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The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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