Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
