Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
