His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
