Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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