Can i not drive my cunt home
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
