standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
