So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
3pm strippers are depressing
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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