Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
