if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
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I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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