Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
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I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Found your dick twin last night
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.