Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.