I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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