so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
