is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
